The Zen Practice of Being Old
Zen practitioners age 70+ were invited to join Tonen O'Connor, resident teacher emerita of the Milwaukee Zen Center and former Sanshin board member for a series of three afternoon virtual discussions about new dharma gates that appear as we age. The series was not about "spirituality for positive aging," nor was it about "achieving graceful elder years." It was about new opportunities for practice. The discussions focused on the practice opportunities and dharma insights available at 70 years of age and beyond that differ from the experience of our younger years. (January 2025)
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During open discussions of an hour and a half each, participants shared responses to questions and reading material made available to them in advance of each session. The readings include varied selections from Zen and Western literature and were designed to encourage reflection. Tonen made short introductory remarks and led the discussion, but the intent was for the hour and a half to encourage full participation, with a sense of humor welcome.
1. Getting started: the dharma gates Discussion focused on the nature of practice, both as zazen and within the activities of daily life. Participants examined the meaning of our great vow: Dharma gates are boundless, I vow to enter them and looked at perspectives on "old age." 2. The practice of being old within the Buddha's teaching of Impermanence, Interdependence, No-Self This discussion featured change in our lives and how we respond to it. exploring whether our sense of connection to the world has increased or diminished. Above all, we looked closely at how we view our "self" in the light of current circumstances. Is what I call "me" enfolded within Indra's Net of interdependence or does it stand, lonely, outside it? 3. The elephant in the room: death This was our opportunity to drop our avoidance and look squarely at this inexorable event -- what are our thoughts about what happens to "this person"? Why must we come and go? This was also the place to think about compassionate preparation that will lessen the burden our absence will place on others. |
Suggested practices
Participants collaborated on this list of ways to engage with our lives. Maintaining our commitment to the dharma, with no apology for being old, we embrace the practices of:
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Death poems by participants
As part of these conversations, participants tried out the practice of writing yuige ("death poem"), a traditional poetic form that goes back to Tang China, where Zen Masters’ poems summarized their last teaching. Beginning in Tokugawa-era Japan, many people took up the practice of writing these poems annually, to be in readiness for a death whose timing we cannot predict. With the authors' permission, several examples are offered below:
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I have lived a life that was productive
Based on the perception of others Based on outcomes desired by many Based on the material rewards that came my way This life, expected to be short Just kept going And here I am now, The road is getting short I wanted to leave no trace But know that it will not happen My path has been strewn, With material desires and microplastics I came late in life to zazen, To an understanding that perceptions are just the story in our head To an understanding desired outcomes create suffering To an understanding that true rewards come from embracing all living beings Gene Kishin Elias Dancing in the dragon's jaw Endless years like a flash Awe and wonder There is nowhere Buddha Mind is not. Vivian Gruenenfelder In the garden of life, I tended my days, Seventy-six years under the sun's constant gaze. To Ben and Jesse, I offer this grace, When lost, find the center in the wheel's turning space. Scott Temple in collaboration with AI The glory of a setting sun Still delights this heart/mind of 92 years Fully aware that soon it will fade Into the rising dark. Tonen O'Connor Death is dawn and birth is darkness. Sensations, perceptions, discernments Now, seventy-six cycles of stirring dissolves the mix into solution. Jeff Seikan Alberts Today, standing near the frozen lake No water, just ice. Then, a snow squall and I can’t see the further shore. Jim Gother |
Whoa! Already?
Grateful for the boundless expanse of life, Seeking forgiveness for my selfish self. Goodbye, I. Flesh, memories, breath, desire vanish Like a wave that rises out of a great lake And crashes on the sand Brian O'Donnell Born into the 10,000 things Year by 81 year, they have multiplied beyond counting I make my way to the gate and step into the midnight woods Where the snow is turning the darkness white Meido Barbara Anderson Walking and walking, with mountains and other living beings For 76 years on trails with no destination or goal. All life walks, but now only in my dreams. Sitting in my chair with the traveling; traveler gone: Farewell! Barbara Byrum, Ryusen Rakoshin (Flowing Fountain, Joyful Faith) Four score and a dozen years--these five heaps appear and disappear, singing into an empty sky, leaving no trace. Myoki Marcia Nehemiah At 72, I like to peek around the corner To a bigger world where I can touch the outer edges of space, Without offending Kant, Augustine, or Dogen. Offer up a chilled martini with olives and pray that the law of karma was just another fiction. My death, the moment before, the moment after? Henry Coffey Dancing painful syllables -- fervently skin-bound, I unravel. Sally Daisen Hess Persistently this flower bloomed Through 78 beginningless beginnings This flower wanting more Welcomes the endless end. Eido Reinhart |
